Thursday, April 7, 2011

Thing 74: Go grocery shopping with EDP without saying "But it's on sale" or any variation of the phrase

"Oh, look – cereal is on sale, we should buy some!"
"We already have some."
"But it’s on sale."
"We have 7 boxes of cereal at home already."
"But it doesn’t go bad so we should get it now when it’s on sale."
"But we already have enough for 2 months.  Let’s eat some of what we have and then you can buy more."
"But it might not be on sale when we need more.  And why would we buy it at full price when we can get it on sale?"
"Cereal will go on sale again sometime in the next two months.  You can get more then."
"But what if it doesn’t?"
"Trust me, it will."
"But what if it doesn’t?"
"Fine, buy whatever you want."
*Colleen puts four boxes of cereal in the cart*
"Oh, look – tea is on sale, we should buy some!"
"I hate grocery shopping with you."

I'm sure it will shock you to find out this conversation happens every single time EDP & I go grocery shopping.  Over and over again from the minute we walk into the grocery store to the minute we pay the bill.  

Wait, that's a lie.  It starts before that.  It starts in the car when I remind EDP what's on sale at the stores we're going to.  It starts when I'm making the grocery list and tell EDP that Metro has a good sale on laundry detergent so we should go there to get some. It starts when I sit on the sofa, surrounded by every single grocery store flyer, determining which stores are worth going to.  

I firmly believe, that wherever possible, you don't buy anything unless it's on sale.  Why wouldn't I buy as much laundry detergent as my arms will carry when it's on for half price?  It doesn't go bad, I'll definitely use it and I can use the money I didn't spend on laundry detergent to buy some delicious Häagen-Dazs.  The club pack of ground beef is on sale?  Great.  Let's buy it, divide it up into smaller amounts and freeze it until we need it next.

EDP certainly does not agree with this philosophy but I have worn him down to the point that he just doesn't bother arguing anymore.  It's not that he's against sales but he thinks if you don't need it, you shouldn't buy it just because it's on sale.  Maybe buy it if you are running low but he typically prefers to wait until something is actually needed before buying it.

So for one of our weekly grocery shopping trips, I will suppress all of my natural instincts and refrain from insisting we buy something when it's on sale and conversely, refusing to buy something that isn't on sale (because it works both ways...  if it isn't on sale, I won't buy it. Which is why there wasn't any club soda in the house when I spilled coffee on the sofa two weeks ago. But don't worry, it was on sale last week so we're stocked up again.)

I won't even talk about what's on sale on the way to the store.  Or make a list of what is at each store.  Or even look at the flyers.  

I do, however, retain the right to refuse to pay $3.99 a pound for green peppers.  

How will I know I'm done?
I will know I'm done when the ER doctors are explaining I had a minor heart attack, as I'm sure that is what will happen if I have to walk by the egg noodles for 50 cents off and not put a package in the cart.  Alternatively, I will have arrived home from our weekly grocery shopping trip without having touched a flyer and having walked by all the little sale tags without commenting on a single one to EDP.  And I suppose I will also have to refrain from just piling the stuff on sale into the cart unless we actually are running low - and I'll use EDP's definition of low, not mine (which is less than a 6 month supply.)

How am I doing?
Completed April 10, 2011, read about it here


  1. You are your mother's daughter!

  2. Can I come watch you grocery shop on a normal trip please?! Reading that conversation made me laugh out loud!! haha